Sunday, September 9, 2012

And my axe!


This is a post that has been posted on a different blog before. Now it has an opportunity to be read by more than just spam bots, and so I am submitting it at DudeWrite for Slasher week. Click on the link and explore the free entertainment. What? You don't like free?

My Dad has a strange and unusual hobby. While most dads in my neighbourhood went to the pub to get hammered, my dad spent his time hammering. Dad is a blacksmith, and he makes all sorts of wonderful and useful things. Not many have considered taking up such a pursuit, but most people who find out about it think that it's cool (I understand that I have no authority on what is and what is not cool, but I assure you I have it on good authority).

Such an endeavour has perks. For my 17th birthday Dad made me a rather large medieval/fantasy axe. It was huge. The plan was that if Dad made it heavy enough I couldn't use it when stuffing around with my mates. Parents, it seems, do not like to go home via the emergency ward when they pick their kids up. Spoil sports.

It was a good plan and an awesome present. Leading up to the big day it almost got him shot.

Similar to this, but the head would be bigger
and there was no spike behind it. Also not as lame
and way cooler since my dad made it
I had my provisional licence at the time, meaning I could drive a car without supervision, and I was out driving with my mates. Dad brought the nearly completed axe into the house to show my sister. All that he had left to do was to give it a bit of a clean, polish, and finish the grip on the handle.


My sister was praising my Dad’s craftsmanship, or so he tells me, when a police car pulled up at the front. Dad saw it first, recalled I was out driving and thought the worst and subsequently panicked when the cops started walking up our driveway. With axe in hand my Dad went barrelling out of the front door, and with the voice of a panicked parent yelled, “What are you doing here!?”

If you know my Dad, then you are lucky, but you also know he is a sweet, harmless and humble man. But he is short, stocky and particularly wide at the shoulders from swinging hammers and has no neck (He is bear like, but more Yogi Bear like).

The police did not know him though. They just saw a wide stocky man, holding an axe, and asking what they were doing rather forcefully. So I can understand their concern. The cop closest to the door went white and started backing up, while the cop behind him was reaching for his gun.

Luckily, my sister was not that far behind Dad and had followed him out, she saw what was happening and promptly removed the axe from his hand and took it inside.

Oh how we laughed...

38 comments:

  1. What a cool gift for a dad to make with his own hands. However, everyone in my family works for the local police department and i can only imagine what those poor cops thought when your dad appeared with an ax. Glad it all turned out well and you can laugh about this. Did I miss the part as to why the cops were there in the first place?

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    1. They were just asking questions about the local happenings. They just moved their car further up the street and stopped it in front of our house.

      I do admit there is nothing like the hilarity of hindsight, "hey dad, do you remember the time when you almost got shot for being a loving a caring father?"

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  2. Wow! I worked for the sheriff's office for a few years and these type of scenarios would happen every now and then. Luckily, no one ever got accidentally shot, but the potential happened way too often.

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    1. If it wasn't for my sister it could have been different. When Dad realised what he had done his hands shot up and became very apologetic

      Despite having an increased heart rate the copes were pretty cool about it, so Dad invited them inside to show him the other weapons. Cops in the country are fairly laid back.

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  3. Thankfully no one was hurt. Had that same scenario had played out in the US, sadly I think the outcome would have been different. Good thing you sister was around.

    That is so awesome that your Dad is a smith, and made you an axe. It's definitely a lost art. I know many people who attend the Texas Renaissance Festival would have been jealous. :)


    Michael A. Walker
    Defying Procrastination

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  4. Blacksmithing is certainly a unique gift and a somewhat lost art.
    The closest thing I can relate it to is welding. Who doesn't think a guy who can turn a Volkswagen into a grill is cool?

    So did you apprentice at all in it?
    WG

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    1. I don't have any manly skills so I am easily impressed with anybody who can take something and turn it into anything else. The closest thing I can come to in innuendo.

      I saw some punk kids the other weekend turn a Corolla into a grill with just a packet of matches, but I imagine your Volkswagen grill is re-usable

      I can't apprentice in it, as much as I want to, because you need to be able to determine the different shades of red when heating steel. The colours are used to indicate how hot the steel is. And you need different temps to do different stuff and my colour blindness doesn't want to play fair.

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  5. So, yes, I agree, your dad being a blacksmith is very cool! I love anyone that crafts things for a living. But thank goodness he wasn't shot, because it would have been twice your fault, since you were out driving and he was holding the axe he crafted for you. You shouldn't put your dad in danger like, that Rusty!

    And, also, congrats on being published! I loved your stories :) The vet story was a trifle disturbing, but I bet the dog appreciated that he was so dedicated, huh? And I hope your beard is no longer growing :)

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    1. Dad would be happy to know that you blame me for the situation.

      Thanks for your kind words. I think Pish and Gloria did a wonderful job. I also shaved this morning ;)

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  6. Seriously, that is pretty awesome. Pretty funny too that it didn't occur to him not to walk out of the house towards the police with an axe in his hand. :-)

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    1. Dad cares for me enough that his is willing to take a bullet for me by forgetting what he is holding.

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  7. Whoa man, poor cops probably reconsidered their line of work after that day! Good nobody got in trouble after that :)

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    1. Reconsidered their line of work and their underwear

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  8. I love the stories about your dad!! More! More! :) he sounds lovely.

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    1. He's pretty awesome, it sucks that he lives 400km from me

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  9. I'd love to see a picture of the actual ax.

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  10. I'm coming over from Dude Write. This is a great story about your dad. I have a soft spot in my heart for any and all stories about dad's, I had a great one too. I think it's fantastic he spent all that time making such a special gift for you (and you have a great story to tell to this day) - do you still have the axe?

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    1. He lives in another town than I. He keeps the axe with him because it is less likely that it would be stolen and he can continue to use it in his display when he does demonstrations. He is making me a sword this year ;)

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    2. Wow! A sword? To cool, Rusty, just to cool!!

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  11. That is a hilarious story. Unfortunately my Dad is just known for his plants.

    And rushing out to greet policemen with a potted plant isn't as intimidating.

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    1. Unless your dad is Seymour from the Little Shop of Horrors, then I guess not

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  12. That axe sounds so epic that the police officer's measly gun probably wouldn't have stood a chance.

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    1. Probably less paper work too I would imagine

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  13. hahahaha. :)
    I love this kinda blacksmith jobs too. Was he dressed for the occasion too? With stripes/checkers shirt and worker jeans and suspenders and hat? That would have been awesome.
    So, this axe shall be passed down generations? From your dad to you and from you to your kid and all?

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    1. No hopefully Dad is around to teach my children how to make their own stuff, because I certainly can't do that.

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  14. That's weird. Last time I ran out of the house carrying an axe, Peter Jackson put me in his next film.

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    1. Awesome :)

      I guess you're short enough that they wouldn't have to rely on camera tricks to make you look like a hobbit

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  15. That's a very cool hobby for a dad to have. So fun story: a long time ago my friends and I were driving up to the mountains, and we thought it'd be fun to play hostage - we tied one of our friends up in the back of the van and were laughing. Someone on the road saw this and not only called the police, but we were pulled over with guns drawn. On us, 8 year old kids. Yeah...

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    1. Come out with your hands up, or you will have to sit in the naughty corner.

      I'm going to count to 10. 1... 2... imagine what daddy is going to think... 3...

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  16. That's a cool story. I have an appreciation for what a blacksmith can do with a hammer and an anvil. It's certainly a lost talent, I think? Did you pick up any knowledge on that from him or do any bad ass, weapon making, blacksmithery yourself?

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    1. I'm colour blind so I cant work the metal as well because I can't see the temperature/colour change accurately enough

      But I am a fencer; I can't make 'em, but I can use 'em

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  17. Luckily the cops were somewhat level-headed. Some have been known to be quick on their judgement where I live. Hilarious story, though!

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    1. The beauty of living in regional Australia. The police aren't that quick on the trigger; they hate the paper work

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  18. What an awesome story!

    My dad is an electrician, and thanks to his help, I had the BEST science projects in school.

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    1. High five for Dads with skills.

      My mum is a teacher, and she didn't let Dad help too much with my projects. But she was easily convinced ;)

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  19. LOL This is awesome!!! I sort of want an axe for my birthday... :P

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    1. Spoken like a true Amazon.

      Warrior chicks are hot, I met my girlfriend at fencing after all

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